Saturday, 27 August 2011

Broody for a bike and a baby?

This week has been all about the running - or wunning as Toby likes to call it.

MadauntieSchammy is training for a triathlon! Most women my age are either tying the knot, expecting their first child, quite possibly their second, or, even just trying to fall pregnant...

But not me - the only thing I'm trying for is a triathlon. I am normal though (well, sort of) because I have considered the possibility of all of the above - they're just not at the top of my 'To-do" list right now.

Occasionally I worry I'll get to 40 and think 'Sh**t I forgot to have children' because there's so much more I want to do with my life. But do children really stop you from achieving your bucket/goal list or do they help you to rewrite it? Maybe they are the missing part of the game-of-life puzzle that make you feel complete?

Thankfully I am not alone in my thoughts. Uncle Johnny feels the same - and we're blissfully sailing along in the 'we're still not sure about children cruise liner' enjoying sleep filled nights and tantrum free days!

But... and there is always a but with everything - we love our little nephews to the moon and back - and our fun-packed munchkin days leave us feeling full of love and warmth - extremely tempted to climb back on the 'maybe we do want children one day fence'.

Today was one of those days, as was yesterday... and the day before. Because munchkin filled days are the bestest. Tobilicious always makes me smile ... so when Uncle Johnny surprised me with a Toby-lunchtime work visit my day got ten times better.

For anyone who has children, grandchildren, nephews or nieces you'll know how special it is to be greeted with a bright-eyed and warm rapturous reception. Before Toby got so cool he would shake his arms in excitement upon seeing his auntie Schammy - and it was the greatest feeling in the world. I felt extremely loved and wanted. Awww blesss.

No man has ever been that enthusiastic to see me.... and probably never will. Being an auntie is the best job I have ever had- which makes me think...if this is how I feel about being an auntie - wouldn't becoming a mother be more magical times ten?

Only the mothers out there know the real answer. But I'm sure they'd say yes! Making a baby is definitely the fun part - but bringing them up and nurturing them 24/7 - perhaps isn't quite so fun?? Especially when they don't sleep, throw tantrums and act up.

But they are completely priceless Last week at Shoreham Airshow Toby pointed to a aeroplane and told us it was one he flew 'I flyed that plane', yesterday he said my name badge said 'auntie Schammy' and today he told me he drove to this work in his Saab this morning drinking coffee'. Need I say anymore!

And today when my lovely friend Carli brought her beautiful one month old baby Evie round to meet us all - he offered her a piece of cheese! I couldn't help but look at them both adorably and coo.

She was incredibly cute and oh-so-very-tiny. It's amazing to think that just over a month ago she was curled up inside Carli's tummy.

What makes me feel all gooey is the thought of holding something you've made together - something that has your eyes, your partner's nose, or smile - it must feel rather special.

And as I held Evie I felt a pang of broodybabysyndrome. I caught a glimpse of Johnny and I think he was thinking the same too. Or maybe he was just anxious to watch the game of footy that was about to kick off on Sky, who knows!

But holding Evie made me think about a quote I'd once read.

'A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.'

Aww how sweet ... but we're not ready for that yet. Or are we? As they all dispersed... Mummy Carli, Daddy Paul, Baby Evie, Mummy Tanya and Toddler Toby - John and I had that do we really want kids conversation again weighing up the pros and cons.

'One day sweetheart, but let's enjoy each other first.' and on when the football - and out came the triathlon magazine.... a bike... a bike.. I think I want a bike first. A fast one with fancy wheels and go go gadget handlebars.

That will make my love for triathlons stronger - my days shorter - my nights longer, my bankroll smaller -ha ha ha! But I can't cuddle my bicycle - or can I?

And anyway 40 is the new 20. Why should I have them now. There seems to be a host of positives for us ladies who delay motherhood.

Halle Berry gave birth to her first at 41, J-lo at 38, and today 1 in every 12 babies born is born to a mother over the age of 35.

And it's better to wait... to be ready... in a book called Ready: why women are embracing the new later motherhood its universally agreed that older mothers are more emotionally able to cope with parenting. This sounds more like me. I can't even cope with a bike puncture, let alone a baby.

So for now, I'm going to be broody for a bicycle...and a baby... a baby later, much, much later!!

Today as John is watching the goal posts - I am moving them. 35. That is my cut off point. At 35 I will have completed that list..... watch this space... in five years time!!



  1. Enjoy your baby free life. You can still do the things which you enjoy after having kids but it's hard. It takes more organising. A lot of people have children in their 30's now (but I know it gets harder after 35). I was 29 with my first and 32 with the twins. That was the right age for me but everyone's different.
    Good luck with the triathlon - and the baby making practice! Def. the fun bit!

  2. Thank you soooo much for this beautiful piece of writing, going to print it off for Evie to keep and read when she's older : ) I will tell her that her special auntie schammy wrote it! With the whole having babies thing I don't think there's ever a 'right time' and there's always a reason not to! If only everyone gave it that much consideration! But then Jeremy Kyle would be out of a job : ) I agree with John that you should enjoy eachother first, Paul and I did it for 4 years and I'm so glad we did! We love you schammy and Evie sends a big kiss and can't wait to see you again soon xxx

  3. I feel you on the baby free life. My husband and I are recently married. We get the "when" question all the time. We have a perfectly valid excuse for waiting (besides the fact that we don't want any yet) because my husband is going through Electrician's Apprenticeship training for the next 5 years. We told everybody no talk until year 3 because then we will have our finances down. He loves being an "instant" uncle to 5 beautiful and hilarious munchkins... but we love to sleep in! Anyways, I look forward to following your blog!